i still cry

Thursday, November 13, 2008

you could say it's for my closest friends that im reviving my blog. before i get any more emotional, it's true that blogging fosters a closer knit with your loved ones. = )

to date, i have not landed myself in a good job. but it helps, in a perverse way, to know that 1.8 million people are as jobless as i am (yes, that's the current no of jobless rate). great! well, i wouldnt lie by saying that i have not been affected by my state. but i have come to realise that it's not all bad for me since i can only work for 1 year. in other words, i can afford to take it slow. i know this lady who came in hope of earning more (other than accompanying her husband) for her honeymoon next year. i feel sorry for her but it's beyond my means to help her, really.

im always thankful that i have the support from my family, especially my loving sister, to come london. im guilty of leaving my aged divorced parents alone in singapore and it's almost eating my happiness. my parents have always been very independent but i want to be there for them because i know the comfort of knowing your family is with you. having said that, sis reminds me that they are not as 'needy' as i thought they were. i dont know what to make out of this. i know i also have to grow up... alone! i need to force myself out of my comfort zone to experience life myself.

Best of all, i get a dose of familiarity once a month. Obviously im not talking about my regular menstrual cycle- it's the prompt visit by J o o. jon and i are always excited counting down to the day she arrives. we have a special friendship because the 3 of us can talk really well. we bunk over her hotel and do crazy things like feet-shuffling in the room, laugh at the most ridiculous/ unlaughable things and we share experiences.

im rather glad that im in london actually. im finally away from the cheena, irritating, rude singaporeans. i honestly love being in singapore cuz it gives me pride and safety. Probably the saddest element in Singapore are the people! if they're not cheena, they're 'M's. and i totally detest the way singaporeans talk (i meant people you dont know)- unknowingly rude and dont know how to express themselves. okay, forget it! but well... im just very happy being with my friends cuz others are prob not worth it.

in view of the economic crunch, im just doing what i've always liked doing but never allowed to do in singapore- volunteering at the RSPCA!!! i've attended a meeting and i think it'd just get more exciting from there!!! im heading to their retail store this tuesday to help out. it's a long walk out but i've grown to enjoy long slow walks alone.

i regularly imagine myself back in U P S. it's crazy, my heart still belongs there. i get all excited when i see a U P S delivery vehicle. well, i try not to think about it or i'd get upset that i left that workplace. althought HR told me i could always go back because my resignation was a special case, how can i face my colleagues, esp my ex boss who recommended me, since i have 'betrayed' them? i dont think i can ever bring myself to pursue my dream job. that upsets me most.

istill~~cry~~Thursday, November 13, 2008